Monday, July 22, 2013 | By: Anamika

The Wedding


'Afreen calling'. My cellphone vibrated with its last ounce of battery.
"Jackass!!! how are you?"
"Aami, I'm getting married, next week"

I don't quite recollect the rest of the conversation because it was mostly lost in sobs and whimper. One of my best friends was going to be a wife very soon. Marriage, that is one huge commitment. Afreen's mom was happy and relieved that she got a good alliance, the guy tempting package altogether, huge pay check, reputed family. Meanwhile all of our mommies said something similar along the following line, " see that's what good girls do, get married early, not like you hippies roaming around boasting about jobs and post graduation, despising the holy institution of marriage".

         Back when we were in tenth standard, during the PT periods in the hot afternoons, our gang would perch on the overgrown roots of an old fat tree, chatting, gossiping and dreaming about future. I would declare, "we all will get married at 24, I will have one kid and name him aadi, Afreen will have four kids and Remya, oh never mind, she doesn't want to get married, she will join NASA. Hmm, we all will buy adjacent villas in the United States(closer to NASA of course), and Sree will open a dental clinic there". Only if it all came true...Here we are, barely 23, one of us engaged, others busy planning life ahead, Sree finished her Btech, Remya ditched her dreams of astrophysics and joined for mechanical engineering and I am yet to name my unborn kid (I am not pregnant or even married for that matter!). Our life is no where near what we had planned. The closest we are going to get to USA is probably on the street view of google maps(sigh!).



Afreen was a peppy chatterbox with an amazing sense of humor. After the engagement she became taciturn.We all went for a sleepover at her place, planned a bachelorette party, only to cheer her up. If the wedding is inevitable, why not hope for the best and celebrate?! Like in old times, we gathered, talked about old crushes, their ridiculous nicknames, the broken toilet window at school, opened up the tom cat app, swore at it and laughed till stomach hurt when the cat repeated every uncensored bad word in its squeaky voice, we fought, we lamented over the loss of bachelor life, we were all exceptionally horrible at dancing, yet made sheila ki jawani a memorable one. The mehendi night was amazing. The videographer wanted shots that looked natural and asked us to "pretend" like we were in a busy conversation with the bride, one of my evil friends jumped in, " Afreen what do you want as wedding gift?? dotted, ribbed, ..???" The gang broke into fits of laughter leaving the relatives and videographer to wonder what was so funny. And I saw Afreen smiling...

               We all knew the pain that lurked behind her smile. Tying knot with someone you barely know, with just one week to mentally prepare for the ordeal that is going to last for a life time, to be someone's wife...
There was a time when our life was nothing but fun and joy. Bunked  tuition classes, the sharjah, chikoo shakes, flunked mock entrance exams, patterns drawn on OMR sheets with random answers, the trash talks, long hour telephone conversations, fantasies about favorite film heros, bright nail polishes, sleep overs, humming random tunes in math classes only to distract Afreen who took notes fervently, SOS at the back of notebooks, shared lunches and umbrellas, dead leaves that fell off from the blackcurrent tree in the school, the wind that swept them away with time...

              There are certain aspects of one's character that wouldn't change no matter how old you grow. But marriage is one phase of life that changes everything. You are not that old carefree, alleged hippie anymore, You turn into a loving/submissive wife, protective mother and a humble daughter -in law(?), and then there is no turning back. You are never the same again...

      At the wedding I saw the name of the bride and groom written in fancy sparkling bold lettered thermocol. 'Afreen weds Ishaan' . I never knew how painful it was to see my best friend's name up there. It is a symbol of separation,lose but also a ray of hope that he will take care of her, stand by her side in pain and happiness. I went upto the stage and gave her a warm hug. Guess I needed it more than the bride herself. I congratulated the groom and gave him that "If you hurt her, I will find you and I will kill you" look (Man,I always wanted to do that!!). I walked away. It is the end of an era.

A week after the wedding, my whatsapp blinked. " OMG, I LOVE HIM!!" with lots of assorted smileys that implied the same. It's time to let go her go, with her man...God Bless.

11 comments:

Neha said...

Beautiful things happen with sweet memories shared with the best of friends. It is indeed an emotional moment to see your besti getting married. I can feel the deep thoughts flowing through your mind about your own life and the future that lies ahead for you as you described the journey of your friend's life along with yours.
Nice write up Anamika :)

Anamika said...

thank you Neha :)

Fayaz Pasha said...

A wonderful journey of friendship and separation with the wedding bells of your friend. May Almighty bless her with a blissful married life. You are true, marriage is a turning point for both husband and wife who adopt different roles. They need to be aware of many things to guide them in their marital journey.


Good post Anamika.

Anamika said...

Thank you sir

Shyam Mohan K. said...

Every friend is a visitor in our life. One fine day they have to leave. Its just the matter of time. Some become acquaintances,some become besties, some will linger around silently, and some stay for a long time, but not forever :)

V a r a d a said...

Now, I cannot offer comments like the others who have commented but I can tell this. This post touched me very deep. It made me imagine the same happening to any one of my best friends and left me feeling sad.

You've created wonder with words here.

Anamika said...

Varada Thank you so much :)

a midsummer night's dream said...

A nice post. The apprehension of marrying a complete stranger is very real. I hope more people get lucky as your friend

Anamika said...

thank you :)

Nikhil said...

An observation that I made. Thought of letting you know as well since it involves you :D.
So yeah , it goes like this:"Your posts are sometimes deep ..then after some time they are funny as hell(LOL types funny you know :p) & sometimes melancholous as well. That keeps the reader hooked till the end. No boring "blah blahs" , just interesting to the point things that need to be shared/read.Captivating is what your posts are!"
Now that was one long comment, damn,,,:p :p

Nice blog Anamika....keep writing!:D

P.S.-FYI... Marriage scares the living shit outta me..O_o....But ,this post is really well put though.:)

http://aficionadolog.blogspot.com/

Anamika said...

Thank you Nikhil :) Comments,short or long are valuable and appreciated

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