Monday, November 18, 2013 | By: Anamika

WOMEN through the Eyes of a Skeptist

I do not defy my kind. Nor is my gender in ambiguity. But there are quite a few things I fail to comprehend although I am a girl.

Ø High heels
Which one to pick?? A black wedge with heels or the comfortable floaters? It’s a choice between comfort and vogue. Try walking in that 10 inch long heels and you will know what I am talking about. I tried walking and felt like someone shove an iron rod right through my ankle up the spine and I looked like a new born calf trying to walk, not to mention the number of times I tripped. Apparently you need to practice to master the art of balancing yourself on it. But hey! The little black dress with a low cut hemline and high heels steals a lot of lime light. Heels for women is like bikes for men, You know your back hurts still it feels awesome. Well, ditto here!
I wonder why floaters and flip flops are not cool enough.

Ø Nail Polishes and polka dots
Yeah, grow them, file them and paint them. Women should seriously try “leave them alone” for a change. They grow the nails until it’s almost an inch long and start to look like claws. Ever thought of the dirt that goes inside it?? But no, you have to paint them slutty red, electric blue and crappy yellow and put polka dots all over . Even worse , pick a  colour that goes with your dress.

Ø Hair Removal
Why would any sane person spread the hot wax on their body, let it stick to the skin and then go through the mind numbing painfull process of pulling it off along with the hair. Arms and legs are less sensitive but the “upper lip”, I don’t even want to talk about it. Someone who have had issues peeing can totally pull it off with the upper lip waxing/threading. My salutes to the women who go through the ordeal every  month. Been there done that, not happy about it even a bit and definitely not going to do it again. Get a razor or the cream people!! I am glad gorillas never felt so itchy about the whole hair thingy.

Ø The fringes aka zulfen
Never tie a pony! Well, you know the world comes to stand still when you turn around in slow motion and the neatly cut layered hair flies around in the wind making you look like a Bollywood heroine. Ah screw the scorching summer heat ! Oh , why bother when you can look smoking hot with the kohl ed eyes and fringes falling off to your face.

Ø Accessorize!!
Bangles and funky beeded bracelets all crammed in one hand , a thin long chain with an incredibly large locket that reminds me of Voldemort’s horocruxes, drop earrings so huge that it almost touches your shoulder and your ear looks droopy trying hard to hold on the weight of the earrings, not to mention the bloody expensive stone studded hair clips and multicolored tic tic clips, and the anklets that do not agree much on symmetry, you wear them on just one leg, leaving the rest of the mortals to wonder if the girl actually lost the other one.

Let’s face it, almost all the men like the girl who looks good, dresses up well, not the hairy, geeky Sandra Bullocks from Ms.Congeniality . So next time you men roll your eyes and make jokes about the time spend by my kind in a beauty parlor, do have it in your mind that you are bringing upon yourself the wrath of a hundred million beauty conscious women out there in the world.  And me?? Well I am still trying to fit in.